In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Well, I Never….”

I would never advise a friend to go to Amsterdam without booking a Hotel on a Friday, partake in the delicacy that is an Amsterdam Coffee Shop, walk the Red Light District partake in… more Coffee Shop delicacies include Space Cake, attempt to sleep on a bench at Dam Central Station platform whilst tripping out and listening to announcements saying:

‘ Beware hat pickpockets operate in the area’ whilst dealing with the hallucinations that come with Coffee Shop delicacies.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/well-i-never-2/”>Well, I Never…</a>



My tragic first Valentine

I was ten years old and it was my first realisation of what Valentines Day was… a time to tell someone that you liked them as opposed to my now cynical view that the Card companies, Supermarkets and Restaurants have a day in which to foghorn people into parting with money to tell the one they love that they love them on this specific day… I digress. Ten years old and having butterflies in my stomach, writing a card to Selena the new girl in my Primary school who wasn’t in my class and wasn’t even a friend but hey, being ten years old and struck down with adolescent attraction none of this registered with my racing little mind.

The day arrived, me pent up with excitement and nervousness put the card in my bag ready for the short walk to school. I arrived in the playground my heart pounding, ‘where is she, is she coming to school today?’ these thoughts went around and around in my head for what seemed like an eternity but was in fact a minute. Then I saw her, in my calculated little mind I thought that I would wait until she was alone before I gave her the card but as the minutes ticked towards going to our classrooms I felt that this moment will never happen, the card felt like I was carrying a grenade that needed to be disposed of as quickly as possible, then I saw my chance, I approached and greeting her and I quickly slipped my hand into my rucksack and produced the card which was concealed in a white envelope. She took the envelope and opened it, time stood still, I was thinking to myself ‘Why is she taking so long to read the following’:

To Selena
Happy Valentines Day
From Michael

The creativeness and romance of a ten year old I hear you say. Glancing at the card she finally did something… she ripped the card, little pieces dissapated into the air, my grenade had exploded, the fragments fell onto the floor and Selena walked away without saying a word.

The heartbreak that you may feel that I must have felt didn’t exist as even at such a tender age it taught me a valuable lesson about love and life that I use to this day, with the moral of the story apart from giving me a sadistic sense of humour as my tragic valentine is funny to me but seems so so tragic: I found that whilst buying an inexpensive Valentines Day Card is the antidote to heartbreak when ten years old, true heartbreak is giving the ‘one’ the world and reciprocation being non-existent.

I get cold sweats when I think of how it would of felt if the card had cost me all of my pocket money!!!